The Disappearing Writers
by Sara Loui
Summary: I have no idea how to summarise this bit of wacky nonsense, just please read it and then review, PLZ :-) Cudnt resist writing another chapter peeps.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer - I don't own ANY of the Stargate Characters or anyone else featuring in this story, apart from myself. (Although owning a Jack O'Neill, humana, humana, humana, oookkkaayy moving swiftly on) Enjoy.  
  
Summary - I have no idea where this came from, or why the heck I'm writing it, just that I was needing a break from my other work, I was bored, I wanted a laugh, I've been awake for eighteen hours and I've had lots of coffee. Plus I was reading through some feedback of my stories and realised they actually tell a lot about people and so why not use your good selves as a muse of my own. And so here's an adventure for us fanfic writers. (have I ever mentioned I'm slightly on the wacky side? Krusty can validate my point)  
  
Dedicated to everyone who's ever given appreciated, helpful, encouraging feedback, including some favs Krusty, Ted Sadler, Movielover, Mara Jade, Roque872002,Crossbecca, Wolvierogue, Jobelle,Lynn, Kara, Felicia, Thruma, NG and Falcon, along with lots of others.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 22:00  
  
Ok one minute I was typing on my computer, writing a perfectly interesting S/J fluff story which would have had people entranced for hours (get the feeling I'm proud of my work?) And the next moment I've found myself sitting in a strange room, (which looks awfully like an office area curiously similar to one described in many a story I've read on fanfic), still typing (obviously) at my own computer (thankfully) being stared at by one of our very own muses (which is kinda disconcerting).  
  
After taking a second too gather my senses (ok ok I know it takes longer than a second, give me a break and be thankful it's Carter and not O'Neill or I may never have gotten back to you). I have managed to do an impressing eyebrow raise (not just Tealc who can do this) and given Carter a 'What the hell is going on?' look. All this and I haven't gone completely, 'Oh my God' I've died and gone to fanfic heaven', upon meeting one of my muses face to face. As she continues too look me over with those blue eyes, (which seem even bluer in the muse flesh) I have managed to type this little titbit of information down for you, but forgive me if I sign off to find out what truly is going on.  
  
Note: I wonder whether I should take my computer in for a major overhaul, I've been spending way too much time with it lately methinks. Way too much time writing and reading stories, spurred on thankfully by the great feedback as well as getting addicted to certain writers and their great stories. Get with the program Lou and sign off.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
22:41  
  
Righty ho chaps, I've managed to gather a little information to relay to you. This is truly fascinating, apparently our muses, (who are even better looking in this muse limbo, I find myself in, than in our minds) have found a way to tap into our Author brainstem connected network. (I didn't know there was such a thing in existence either but apparently, it does. It is a connection in which we control our muses to play the stories in our minds for us to write them into the several hundred stories we have buzzing throughout our thoughts.)  
  
They created a device, (with way too many equations, long worded components and quite frankly scary concept behind it) in which they can bring us too them instead of us the authors bringing our muses to ourselves when we are in need of inspiration. Guess who came up with the idea, the original creators made the woman just too damn smart. (Anyone feel like the tables have been turned way too much?). I've been assured they weren't picking on me, I just happen to be zapped here in the experimental stage (which of course made me feel so much better. I'm sitting in a office, being spoken to by my muses, how much safer could a girl feel?) I can hear the white van pulling up some where in the real world, just hope they don't put the straight jacket on before I finished writing this all down.  
  
Can I just say this is the most bizarre situation? In a way it totally sucks, here I am surrounded in the flesh by said muses, who I have been informed (we give the guy way too much leeway in his opinions, although I shouldn't care he is drop dead gorgeous.) do have an actual life and they don't have all the time in their world (wherever this world is) to come running to our aid whenever our situation for a desperate needed muse talk arises. I have been asked to relay this too you all although who am I to tell you when to call on the muses of our stories.  
  
I did give this argument over to the good Colonel who gave me a very scary look and pursed his lips together; maybe I shouldn't have replied so quickly. As I said it sucks, I've managed to ask 'What the Hell was going on?' and that's pretty much it. I'm sitting in a strange situation, surrounded by muses who are pretty much real, .(I know this because I just had to pinch Tealc's bicep's, they are impressive. He didn't look impressed but how much can a person read in a raised brow expression?) I am way out of my league and feel slightly picked on. They've given me a few moments alone to gather my wits, and I grabbed the opportunity to type this out.  
  
''What the?'  
  
Ok I'm yet again gonna get back to you, someone else has just arrived and they look pretty much as confused as I am.  
  
BRB  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
23:06  
  
Well things are taking an even larger turn in the interesting stakes. Not only have the Sg1 muses managed to beam myself into bizarro land, but several other confused authors, computers, laptops, pads and pencil in tow. And funnily enough, we all apparently know each other at least by common interest of each other's fiction. The first person to arrive (see entry above, last sentence) was a young blonde-haired woman, who arrived looking dazed, confused and had a handbag slung over one shoulder.  
  
After a brief introduction, I discovered it was one other than the writer of the pseudonym Krusty. After exchanging pleasantries, relaying said information from above entries, (which took a little time considering the hair colour) she was overcome with awe as her favourite muse, Jack O'Neill entered the room. She summarily plonked herself in front of him as he leaned against a desk and started to write on her own computer.  
  
As this was happening, we had another arrival, (which caused Jack to jump slightly as the new arrival appeared behind him at the same desk he was leaning against. He looks so cute when taken by surprise.) This time a male, who also looked dazed, (I have now learned all new arrivals look like this. Wouldn't you? One minute in natural surroundings, then wham, strange office with Sg1 flanking the room) as soon as he opened his mouth to ask 'what the hell?' (Another thing we all seem to have in common upon arrival) I got the feeling his was the infamous Ted Sadler, whose works I quite admire and whom I'm currently trying to piece a story together with. It was the accent you see, a mix of northern with southern, which produces a unique sound. I did ascertain it was him and explained the situation.  
  
Krusty managed to drag her eyes from Jack, hands from her computer long enough for us all to huddle together in order to sort out the situation we currently find ourselves in.  
  
'Oh for crying out loud, here comes another one of us, this is getting way out of hand'  
  
AFK  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
23:33  
  
Well things are taking a turn. We managed to persuade our muses to at least allow us time to get our bearings and figure out what the hell is going on. I was thinking maybe I'm in a really weird dream and I still could be, although the pain my upper arm is giving me, (we gave each other a pinch) is telling me that's a definite no no.  
  
There's quite a few of us now, all bewildered, gobsmacked, awe struck and completely out of our league, (we're fanfic authors not ....not .... What would be the end of this sentence?)  
  
Anyway back to the telling of this adventure, which I've been nominated to write about (only because I've started already or I would have gladly left the job to another. I've got way too many stories to finish without another one to contend with. That and well I'm surrounded by other great authors who in my mind write so much much better than myself. But now's not the time to muse about who's a better writer than myself)  
  
Well after introductions, (which is kinda weird meeting people who before now were only a pseudonym to you in the big fanfic world) we've turned our attention to the situation at hand and decided what course of action to take. Yes we are so out of league.  
  
We decided, (we don't really have a choice seeing as we have no idea how we got here or how to get out of here) to see why our muses have decided to do this to us and wonder if we'll ever get back with reality ever again.  
  
Oh some running commentary now seeing as our muses (I really should stop calling them that but it's weird saying 'SG1 and co', OK I'll try) They are back in the room with us, (which is turning out to be really big!) and eyeing us up with an air of, well its a mixture of things really and they aren't looking at me too nicely seeing as I'm still typing. (Why is it my descriptive powers have all but been lost to me?)  
  
Carter is drumming her fingers on my desk, which is distracting. Jack is standing arms folded, slightly smiling, (I think from all the attention from several of the females, especially Krusty who is positively drooling) Tealc is sitting also arms folded at a desk hitting buttons on one of the laptops which had appeared with it's owner who I think is 'movielover', (Tealc is getting a bad look from 'movielover' for obviously typing incoherent words onto their story which is where my reasoning the laptop belongs to them is coming from). Daniel, (who I wish was sitting by me) is standing also looking pointedly at each of us as if we're supposed to give an explanation for going on. (Hey shouldn't this be the other way around? We're the ones who have no clue not them)  
  
I'm looking at the others wondering if anyone of us can come up with any questions to ask these people. (We're still in awe methinks)  
  
"So..." (says Jack, still being eyeballed by Krusty, I think she's moving in closer, down girl)  
  
Well at least someone is breaking the silence.  
  
"So...." (Ok Mr Sadler, I would have hoped you of all people could have said something a little more coherent)  
  
Time out  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
00:13  
  
Sorry about that but it was getting a little distracting trying to concentrate on what was going on with us all and relay the information straight away.  
  
Felicia, (who thankfully gives her opinions straight, believe me NEVER NEVER say you'll update soon in her presence, she has a sharp wit, even sharper typing tongue and I've been on the end of it once or twice) eventually found in herself to ask some questions Here's the conversation, from what I can remember of it.  
  
"So your saying you created a 'machine' and that's what brought us here?" (Felicia)  
  
"Well yes and no" (Daniel)  
  
"Well which is it?" (jobelle)  
  
At this point Daniel seemed to have lost all comprehension of the situation himself and turned those gorgeously blue eyes to Sam. (wish they'd turn to me, although myself turning to jelly wouldn't be good for my typing skills.)  
  
"Yes we created the machine and it brought you here"  
  
"So where does the 'no' come into it?" (T Sadler)  
  
"We're..."  
  
At this point Jack pointedly started clearing his throat glaring at Sam, (who sees to smoulder under the gaze, I knew it just wasn't us shippers writing this stuff, they really do like each other. Aha the truth will out) Sam then shifted her position, (thankfully she stopped drilling her fingers on my desk.)  
  
"I" she continued, giving Jack an equally pointed glare, (which had the Colonel spinning, Krusty looks well impressed and seems to be picking up pointers. She'll be sitting on him in a moment, along with several others.) "Had the idea, and the next thing I know I'm building the contraption. I was inspired to turn it on and 'you' appeared"  
  
She said this pointing to yours truly. I slightly squirmed as several eyes turned onto me as if I had something to do with it. This is very disconcerting. Several strangers all are wanting answers and your supposed to have them all.  
  
"I'm as lost as you all" was all I managed to grumble back. "One minute I was at home working on a story and next I'm in this room with Carter staring at me cursively"  
  
"Me too" input Falcon, Roque872003 and Crossbecca all at once which made Tealc's eyebrow rise even higher.  
  
"Hey great minds think alike" added Lynn as she watched the brow rise to amazing heights with open awe.  
  
"What do you mean inspired?" Asked NG, (thankfully someone was keeping their mind on the situation at hand instead of us going over old ground)  
  
"It happens sometimes" We looked questioningly at Jack. (OK questioningly as a few a little lustily)  
  
"It happens?" (Mara Jade)  
  
"Yes. That's what happens to us." Replied a slightly irritated Carter, (which seems to turn Jack on even more, which turns on his admirers even more)  
  
"When one of you falls on a unique idea and need a little inspiration were dragged in to get involved. Help you think it out, see if the concept would work"  
  
IM sure at this point everyone were looking pretty much like how we describe O'Neill during briefings. What the hell was she talking about? Apparently some us do have brains though, who knew blondie would have it in her?  
  
"Your saying when we have an idea for a story and we call on our muses to actually help move our stories on, you play out the scenarios?"  
  
"Well we are the muses" replied Jack in a 'duh' sort of tone, at this point Krusty kinda smiled, and turned to jelly, I'm sure if she hadn't been sitting she would have fallen into her seat. Yes Jack did actually talk to you, congrats!  
  
"And this happens?" (Did I mention Mara gets kinda repetitive, in a good way of course!)  
  
"Yeah"  
  
Which brings us to now. And I've gotta try and explain this to you all. I've been assured it will make a great story, if it ain't blame the others.  
  
So here's the deal. One of you, out there, (yes you know who you are), have thought up a story in which SG1 create a device which connects into brain waves (in our case Fanfic writers brainwaves, particularly Shipper fanfic writers) and somehow the people or person is transported, (where do you people come up with such things? I have no idea either) to where they are.  
  
I know it makes no sense, and now we're all stuck here, so could you please come up with some idea of how we can get out of this place? I have deadlines to catch up on.  
  
Get back to us, and hurry.  
  
~~~~~~~~~ (((TBC)))~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	2. Chapter 2

Well it's now the next day and were still here!! Here is the story since I signed off yesterday begging whomever you are to get us out of here. (Now I kinda know how our muses feel, just don't tell them I said that)  
  
We were given quarters for the night (which is totally cool, they have a whole base and everything going on here in Museania, which is what we've dubbed this virtual reality we find ourselves in) And strangely enough I did, sleep, I may have fell asleep a little eagerly maybe in the hopes of waking up find this is all a bad dream. Alas I'm still here as are all the others. We took it upon ourselves to take a wander round, pretty much like an empty warehouse really, not as buzzing as we usually think.  
  
We persuaded an Airman who appeared to take us down a few levels to; yes you have guessed it, the Stargate. Which we had too visit, (I feel like a tourist, we all do, wish I had a camera, this place rocks) after taking in the sight of the Stargate, (which took several minutes) we were ushered up the stairs into the briefing room, where our computers and laptops were situated roundabout on tables etc.  
  
I have been directed to a chair, sat in front of my computer and it looks like I'm the minutes girl again, (which can I say totally sucks seeing as I don't get to have much interaction with the muses, who have grown in number. General Hammond is here also and the technician guy ((the one who controls the stargate, does anyone know his name?)) )  
  
NOTE 2 SELF - (If you get the chance ask technician guy his name)  
  
Like I said were now in the briefing room, and we still have only a vague idea of why we are here. From what we've summed up someone, (you know who you are) is writing a fanfic in which SG1 has created a device which can bring people from one reality to another (Gr8 idea by the way but couldn't you have included yourself in the scenario?) Only problem is our muses actually in some kind of weird, (only in sci-fi could this happen) highly unlikely, totally plausible (in what reality?) way has managed to create the device and start dragging us here instead. I think they have bee in their bonnet about us using them as pawns for our stories (they should be privileged)  
  
OH and the fic writers people IE us, have increased in number also. There are a few more new faces although I haven't had a chance to get names yet. But yup they have the same look on their faces as I'm sure I and the rest of us had when we first arrived here.  
  
I think the 'briefing' is about to start, Hammond, (his head looks really shiny and buffed up in this light) is sitting in his usual place at the head of the table. Oops, I think Jack may have read the line I just wrote about the General, he's smirking, which seems to have Krusty and the rest of his followers smirking as well. Now I'm getting a glare from Hammond, tell him he's the one reading when he should be listening to you.  
  
Fine now I'm ducking my head down, listening not looking.  
  
"Well first lets get things into some sort of order" (Hammond) "I suggest you choose someone to speak for you so we don't get confused"  
  
Glad I've got my head ducked down, apparently everyone else does too.  
  
"Well this is going to be fun" (O'Neill, how does the guy make every word so damned sarcastic?)  
  
"I practice a lot"  
  
Damn it man stop looking over my shoulder. Ok now I'm cowering behind my laptop, sending him glares through the back of my head.  
  
"Jack?"  
  
"Sorry, so any volunteers"  
  
Although my vision is impaired due my nose practically glued to the computer screen I'm guessing no one had put their hand up or stepped forward or...  
  
"That would be a no"  
  
I WASN'T ASKING YOU, GO AWAY YOUR DISTRACTING ME  
  
"Sorry"  
  
"Jack"  
  
"Sir?"  
  
"What are you doing"  
  
"Talking to the minutes girl"  
  
I can almost see Krusty going green, hehe.  
  
"Who's Krusty?"  
  
Probably the one blushing now, and the sniggering coming from Felicia, Ted and Marajade aren't gonna be helping keep the red down. Ok I owe her one.  
  
"Colonel O'Neill"  
  
"Sorry Sir"  
  
Managed to lift my head, apologising, but hello people could we get with the program, much as this is very interesting in a warped kind of way, I'd like to get home.  
  
"Well lets press on people. Does everyone understand the situation"  
  
This comment has been greeted by sniggers on our parts and a few shakes of the head, which is followed by groans by both sides. It's going to be a long day.  
  
Gonna sign off while Carter yet again explains to the new comers what's going on, BBL.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Well I kinda dropped a doozie on them, and let me tell you I didn't intend on picking a fight with Carter, (cos quite frankly there is now way I'm that smart, she knows way way way too much, plus the woman kicks ass, not that I'm against it but I'd rather someone else do the ass kicking for me before I get my shoes dirty. WHAT I may break a nail!) but I did challenge them all as to why they are still dragging us here, if it goes on much longer we'll out number them. So I kinda asked Carter why she was so trigger happy with the device they built. Believe me if looks could kill, I stepped behind Tealc at this point out of the line of dagger eyes.  
  
Apparently once the device was turned on and brought a few of us here they did turn it off. Or thought they had, which obviously they didn't because HELLO new people as we speak. Surprise surprise, not the story about turning something on and then off only it doesn't switch off, where have I read this story before. Whoever you are, you could have come up with a failsafe, but no you're leaving us flailing.  
  
"OK people, now everyone knows why and how they got here, now we have to figure out how to get you back to your own...."  
  
"Reality" (Robin1212, Now we know things are going a bit mad, seeing as most of her stories are for M*A*S*H. The device obviously is targeting writers and reviewers, which ain't good for the people not exactly directly involved, (like myself and a few others here), in other words things are going from bad to worse)  
  
Ya see, ya see, the reason why I like writing sci-fi, its supposed to be fiction, not real life. How wrong was I, we? I'm not comfortable knowing I'm not in my own reality. I'm not comfortable thinking I can be taken from my own reality. Reality bites.  
  
"Hey seeing as we're stuck here do you think maybe we could take a small trip through, you know through the" (airforce f-15)  
  
"You want to go through the stargate?" (Daniel)  
  
Actually, I was kinda hoping myself, I mean hey nothing can be stranger than this right? Maybe I shouldn't speak too soon  
  
"And just where would you like to go"  
  
Kelowna, Kelowna, Kelowna.  
  
"Chulak would be cool" (felicia)  
  
Damn  
  
"Minutes girl wants to go to Kelowna"  
  
Will you stop reading what I write.  
  
"What's so speacial about Kelowna"  
  
Well DUH!  
  
"Oh a certain cute Alien lives there" (I see Krust is getting her own back.)  
  
Well if the stoopid writer of this story had written propperly Jonas would be here instead of in Kelowna wouldn't he.  
  
"If he was here would you be getting any work done?" (O'Neill)  
  
you realise I could answer that question in so many ways, but I'm leaving my gutter mind stored away for now.  
  
Stop reading what I type, I'll edit and let you red a revision of it later.  
  
Did I tell you how much Krusty really really likes you?  
  
I think I lost him on my first point.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~ :-) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	3. chapter 3

Finnally!! OH no don't get too excited we're still here, in Museania, or Cheyanne Mountain, or Stargate Command, or this reality, but apparently the writer writing this decided a shutdown of all electricity would be so much fun and with no backup (you really are warped whoever you are) I had no way of keeping a review of what's been going on.  
  
Not much to report, seeing as all systems were down we still haven't been able to make a trip through the Stargate, or anybody to be able to come visit us which means no good looking Kelownan's. We've had to put up with each other's company, which was fun at first, but soon we started to get under each other's feet. Still we've managed to not kill each other but I can remember where the artillery room is, yes I can. I'm actually surprised certain people haven't grabbed zat's, zatted there one and only's and made a visit to the sleeping quarters.  
  
Ideas have boggled the mind as to what fictional stories we can put our muses through, although we have withheld this information from said muses, as we doubted any of them would be too pleased.  
  
They started asking questions about the stories we have written and they commented on a few, although I'm still not sure if they were good or bad comments. It seems they get confused as one minute they are romantically connected to one person and then the next minute another. We are writers for goodness sake; we don't all think alike and hey at least you get to make out with everybody right?  
  
At least people have stopped appearing, the device shut down along with everything else and now everything is working again the device stayed shut off at least for now. That and when the systems came back online so did the Stargate and we finally greeted some visitors. Baal and Osiris, and can I just say they are so CLICHÉ, although we forgive them. He is so H.O.T.T Hott and well Ted hasn't stopped drooling. I've been banished here to my laptop though so I'm missing out on all the fun.  
  
Then again hearing how we 'would make excellent hosts' is becoming boring as hearing 'we are the Borg you will be assimilated' whenever a cube turned up on star trek. Get a new line people. The glowing eyes thing is cool though and the whole deep voice, tres cool. They are both here ALONE; no Jaffa, no weapons, no mother ship and they still think we will succumb to their evil ways. I think they are getting bored themselves. They were both caught eating blue jello. Baal was with Carter, Kara, Krusty and Felicia. Osiris and Ted were feeding each other and making goo goo eyes in a corner. Jack was shouting abuse (which I cannot repeat) from another table at the two of them, missing the fact that Krusty was making goo goo eyes from where she was sitting. It was all quite amusing to watch. Everyone else had filled up the commissary tables. Movielover, Mara and Becca were sitting with Daniel eating pie. Airforce, NG, Robyn and Jobelle were with Siler discussing how else they could incorporate and expand his character in stories. Apparently he isn't happy with such a lack of presence. Falcon, Wolvie, Roque Lynn and Thruma were testing measuring up their biceps next to Tealc. I was just about to sit myself with a nice looking bowl of blue jello when I was whisked away. Technician guy (nope still haven't found out his name) came running in said systems were fully operational and the General had ORDERED me to get writing again.  
  
I have no idea, yet here I am. They, in the meantime are all still in the comm., even the tech guy and Hammond left me to join them. This is so unfair. Being minute's girl totally sucks.  
  
OOH OOH bright idea. Me all alone, everyone else eating pie and jello. Lightbulb.  
  
BRB - I'm off for a private tour by myself. 


	4. chapter 4

Gees I tell ya, you take one wrong turn and find yourself wandering for what seems like minutes to you and months to everyone else. Apparently that whole black hole situation affected part of the SGC. Thanks for the heads up!  
  
I'm sure I took a left, right, north, north, south course but apparently I went left, right, north, south, east course, which landed me in a whole lotta trouble. And I tell you something else this place is bigger than we all imagined. AND they have strange things here too. I can't tell you how many ascended beings I bumped into every other turn. It's weird, it's like a huge glob of light (with a face) which you can walk through and it feels like slime sticking to you until to reach other side where you sorta pop out the other end It tends to piss them off though and I tell you for globs of light they sure can swear.  
  
Anyways I made it back to my computer (obviously) Actually it was Osiris who found me, who has changed somewhat. She doesn't have a funny voice anymore and doesn't look like she's got a staff weapon shoved up her butt twenty four seven. But then instead of helping me back she wandered off muttering to herself. Siler happened to chance passing by me as I wandered restless as a cloud through the corridors of the SGC and led me back to the group.  
  
As soon as I told the others about the ascended glob mob Carter, Jackson (who was muttering something about getting his memories back from one of them?) and Ted have all went to see them. Carter handed them a few weird looking guns and technician guy started tapping Ghostbusters out on the desk!  
  
In fact there's a whole lot changed since I went walkabout. The machine must have turned itself back on because a few new people have appeared and some have disappeared. Not good!  
  
Now I'm sitting here with an Airforce Colonel breathing down my neck (which is really annoying!) trying to covey to you the reader what's been happing here in museland. Wait there the Colonel is now muttering at me. Really Jack you should articulate better.  
  
What do you mean you're now a General?  
  
Hammond is where?  
  
When did this all happen?  
  
How long was I gone?  
  
Sorry I will slow down.  
  
Tell you what how about I get a cuppa and you explain a few things which will help both my own and the readers growing confusion?

TBC

Of course there will be more, I'm as interested in how the situation will be resolved as you are


End file.
